![]() Here a break can be helpful for the substance abuser to have enough space to work on themselves with no outside triggers or emotional responsibilities of the other. The non-substance abuser set a boundary and asked for the substance user to get into recovery, which led to the break. For example, you may be an angry drunk you missed your child’s soccer game because you were consumed with getting your next hit, or you called out of work because you were too hungover and didn’t want to be seen.Ī relationship break may look like the abuser going to rehab and not having contact as part of their treatment. Meanwhile, you’re not participating in life in the way you want to. You are trying to numb or escape from a reality that feels negative or is traumatic to you. ![]() But, most of the time, substance abuse or addiction is a symptom of something more profound. Abuse or addiction is destructive to your relationships, career, body, self-esteem, emotions, and future. Substance AbuseĪlcohol and drugs can take over your life. Taking a break can offer the freedom to think independently of their partner and figure out what they truly want. While these questions can be answered without taking a break, often, each partner will feel influenced or pressured in the presence of their partner. What were they missing in the relationship that they dove so far into another person or activity? Finally, each partner needs to ask themselves if they can give the other the way their partner needs. The person who did the cheating needs space to ask how they got to where they were taking part in cheating actions and if they can step out of it. The person who was cheated on needs to take space to ask themselves if they can forgive, to find out what they need, and to start healing. Sometimes the repair from the affair needs space first. If an individual feels lonely, unwanted, unloved, or abandoned due to their partner’s actions, it can feel like infidelity. However, there is infidelity through your job, substances, children, volunteering, hobbies, etc. The most common type of infidelity is cheating through sexual acts or emotional connections. ![]() Infidelity can come in all shapes and sizes. You should understand your triggers and why you get to such extreme responses with your partner during an argument. When on break, you can have space to begin to explore, understand, and heal from your own inner lived experiences. If you’re constantly getting (re)triggered by your partner or living environment, it’s difficult to work on yourself. Doing your own work is why taking a break from your relationship can be helpful. If the constant fighting pushes you toward taking a break from the relationship, each of you needs to do work on your own outside of the relationship. These fights have gone beyond each of you feeling like yourself during them. You start to participate in Gottman’s Four horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling). Or you have deep-seated, painful arguments that hit each of you in your core. When you think about your relationship, you begin to realize significant hang-ups that come out in surface-level arguments. Even the things that seem so trivial can start a fight. You find it challenging to be in the same room with your partner. Divorce has been mentioned but not sure it’s the right decisionĭepending on how you got to this point of exploring whether you should take a break from your relationship will guide the decision to take a break.At a crossroad of what each partner wants out of the relationship/life/each other/ themselves.Possible Reasons for Taking A Break from the Relationship Taking a break from your relationship If you have children:.Things to consider when going on a break from the relationship:.Divorce has been mentioned but maybe taking a break from your relationship is the answer.At a crossroads of what each partner wants out of the relationship/life/each other/ themselves.Possible Reasons for Taking A Break from the Relationship.
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